I Always Will
by HFrischmon
Summary: Spencer and Toby have been broken up for 4 years. Now, Spencer is back from college and Toby has mixed emotions. Will they destroy each other? Or will they fall in love all over again? Maybe they never stopped loving each other at all...
1. Chapter 1

**Happy Halloween!**

**Welcome to my new story! Please feel free to ask any questions, make suggestions, comment/critique anything. I am so excited for you guys to read this! I hope it's my best work yet.**

**I got the inspiration from the song Poison and Wine by the Civil Wars. For anybody who is unfamiliar with that song, you should go listen to it. It played in PLL in 2x11 when Spencer and Toby made out in his truck.**

**Also, thanks for all the reviews on my last story, I loved them! **

_You only know what I want you to_

_-Civil Wars_

Toby's POV

It's been years since I've seen her. 4 years, 3 months, and 6 days to be exact. I try not to count, but my subconscious can't stop. Just like every year on what was supposed to be our anniversary, I cant help but wake up and feel incredibly lonely- no matter how hard I try to think of it as just another day on the calendar.

I've tried dating other people but they only last about a month or two. When they ask me why I break up with them- the only thing that comes to mind is because you're not _her_- you are not _Spencer_. But of course I give them some lame excuse like I need to focus on work, or I think we'd be better off as friends.

I couldn't tell you why Spencer and I broke up. I know we fought a lot- but we always made up at some point. All it took was one fight- one meaningless fight- to break us apart. Both of us were too stubborn to admit we were sorry. And then I remember seeing the moving truck in front of her house- and she was gone for college. Part of me wanted to chase after her and apologize for everything. But the other part of me was still angry at her and was waiting for her to apologize first.

Her first semester of college went by and neither of us had even tried to contact the other. Finally I had gotten so depressed that I just had to go see her. I drove all the way to New York, found her building that her dorm was in and waited outside for her. I sat with my back against my truck when I saw her… She was with a guy walking up to the dorms. They were laughing and joking around. Just when I was about to take a step, he leaned in and kissed her. I about vomited right there on the street. I didn't know whether to punch the guy or be happy that she was able to move on. I decided I couldn't watch another second and took off in my truck. That was the moment I decided to let her go. I wasn't going to try to talk to her or even look for her. I deleted her on all social media and deleted her from my phone. The only contact I have ever had with her was through Emily. Every once in a while Emily would mention Spencer's name and all I would have to do was look at her and she would immediately change the subject.

I always thought she would come home on summer breaks, but she didn't. Emily said Spencer found a summer job there and decided to stay there and make money over the summers. The only time she came home was over the holidays. She must have stayed in her house because I never ran into her. I was trying to avoid her though. I didn't want to see her. It hurt too much.

"Did you hear me?" Emily kicked my shoe from under the table.

"What?" I looked up from my coffee.

"I said, I got that coaching position at Rosewood," she smiled at me.

"That's awesome Em," I gave her a crooked smile.

"Yeah I can't wait to start," she beamed. "How's work going?"

"Fine," I shrugged. "Same as always."

She nodded slowly biting her lip. I could tell she was hiding something from me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Oh it's nothing," she said looking down at her coffee as she took a sip.

"Is it Paige?" I pressed further. "Are you guys fighting again?"

"No," she shook her head. "Paige and I are good."

"Then what is it?" I asked.

She looked up at me through her eyelashes, "She's back, Toby."

I didn't have to ask who to understand who she was talking about. "Oh," was all I could say. "W-when did that happen?"

"She called me this morning," she cleared her throat. "She asked me to meet her for coffee."

"Here?" I sat up straight.

Emily nodded looking guilty.

"You set me up?" I glared at her. "I don't want to see her Emily. I don't even like hearing her name."

"I know," She tried defending herself. "I wasn't trying to set you up. She isn't supposed to be here for another twenty minutes," she looked down at her watch. "I just wanted to warn you before you ran into her."

I grabbed my jacket and threw some cash on the table. "You know as well as I do, that Spencer Hastings always shows up early to everything." Of course when I stood up to leave she was walking in the door.

Our reactions were similar. We both stood still for a moment staring at each other. I was still angry at her but-_God_ she looked amazing. Is it possible for her to get more beautiful while she was away? The way she could simply look at you- and you felt weak. I had to remind myself that _she_ left me. That _she_ was the one kissing up on another guy after we broke up. I peeled my eyes away from her and walked towards the door.

She still stood by the door looking at me. I was hoping she would move out of the way so I didn't have to awkwardly maneuver around her-but she didn't. My shoulder brushed against hers as I pushed open the door and walked towards my truck.

As soon as I got in my truck I sat in there taking deep breaths trying to get rid of my emotions. It was amazing that after 4 years, my truck still smelt like her. How I still found threads of her hair stuck to the seats. It seemed like every couple months I'd find little things of hers in there- like she was haunting me. Once I found a crumpled up picture of us under the seat. Or last month I found a pair of her underwear in the crack of my seat-that one made my cheeks heat up, when my last girlfriend found that. You could say that ended that relationship pretty quick.

I leaned my head against the steering wheel as I cleared my mind of all thoughts Spencer Hastings. I finally reached in my pocket looking for my keys. "Shit," I must have left them inside the Brew. I took a deep breath before getting out of my truck.

There she was. Spencer was walking towards me, keys in hans. I looked down unable to think straight.

"Toby," Spencer had her hand out. "You left your keys inside."

"Thanks," I grabbed them from her, careful not to touch her hand. I didn't know whether to be polite and ask her how she was, or to just to get in my tuck and drive away.

"Toby," she said my name again, like she's been waiting to say it for a long time. "How are you?" she smiled at me.

"Good," I lied. "What about you?"

"I'm fine," she shrugged.

There was silence. It wasn't awkward- it was depressing. It felt weird not to be touching her. Back when we were together, we were always touching. Whether my arms were around her waist or my hands were holding hers, or my lips were glued to hers. I suddenly didn't know what to do with my hands, so I shoved them in my pockets. "I should go," I finally spoke.

"Toby wait," her eyebrows scrunched together.

I looked back at her, waiting for to say something.

"You seem different," she seemed surprised.

I shrugged, "It's been four years." _3 months and 6 days_, my subconscious reminded me.

"Yeah," she nodded slowly. "We should talk sometime. Maybe go out for lunch or something?"

I opened up my truck door, "Yeah maybe," I shrugged her off. I closed my door and sped off, knowing if I stayed any longer, we'd end up either screaming at each other or making out. And right now I wasn't ready for either to happen.

**A/N: Thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**You guys are unbelievable! I can't believe all the great feedback I got on the first chapter, it really means a lot. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

_I know everything you don't want me to_

_-Civil Wars_

Spencer's POV

Emily and I had been making small talk about college, careers, and our families. But the same thing kept flooding my mind. _Toby_. I wanted to ask her a million questions, but I didn't want to come across as desperate.

"So are you glad to be back?" Emily asked.

"Yeah," I nodded. "It's weird, being home after being gone so long. But I missed it," I smiled at her.

"It's weird isn't it?" She smiled. "We hated this place so much back in high school. We couldn't wait to leave. Yet here we are, missing it."

"Yeah," I laughed. "I never thought I'd be glad to be back."

"So you got that teaching position at Rosewood high?" Emily asked.

"Yep," I smiled. "Looks like I will be the new French teacher."

"That's awesome! I'm so happy we get to work together," Emily cheered. "It'll be like old times, eating together in the lunchroom. We just have to get Hanna and Aria to work there."

I laughed at how strange that would be. "What are they up to anyway?"

"Hanna is a hairstylist and Aria is kind of doing a couple things. Her and her mom are working on a gallery together, and she also writes in her free time," Emily informed me.

"That sounds like Aria," I sighed. "I feel bad that I didn't really keep in touch."

"It's ok," Emily waved it off. "All that matters is that you are here now."

I nodded slowly, "So what's Toby doing now?" I tried sounding uninterested.

"He's still a police officer," Emily nodded.

"Oh," I suddenly felt guilty. We all knew he joined just to protect me. It made me sad to think he changed his career for me and now we weren't even together. "How is he?" I couldn't help but ask.

"He's…" she thought for a minute. "Fine," she settled for a lie.

I took a drink of my coffee, dropping the subject. "I actually have to get some shopping done for my new apartment," I dug in my purse for some cash. "We should meet up again this week."

"Of course," Emily smiled at me. "The four of us should get together."

"Absolutely," I smiled at her. "I'll see you later."

**Line Break**

I wanted to see him again. I tried going to all his favorite stores hoping to run into him. I wasn't sure what I was going to say, or what I was going to even do. I just wanted to see him again.

_Out of all the places_, I thought to myself. I was reading a book on the beach, when I looked up, I saw him walking a dog- I imagine it's his dog. I didn't know if I should walk over and say hi, or if I should go back to my book.

Just as I was about to look back down at my book he looked at me. It was that awkward moment, where we made eye contact so we had to acknowledge the other. So I just smiled at him.

He smiled back.

I looked back down at my book. I pretended to read, but I couldn't focus on what the words meant. I looked back up and he was still looking at me. I quickly averted my eyes back to the book. My cheeks flushed as he just caught me looking at him again. I let my hair cover my face as I tried to pick up where I left off in my book.

"Still reading French books?" I heard his voice.

I looked up to see him standing over me. "Yeah," I laughed at myself.

His dog immediately nudged my hand with his nose, asking for me to pet him. I laughed as I scratched the top of his head as he panted in my face.

"No Gus," he pulled on his leash. "Sorry," he apologized.

"No, I don't mind," I kept petting his head. "He's cute."

"I'm dog sitting for my neighbor," he shrugged. "I didn't mean to bother you."

"You aren't," I shook my head. "I was just bored," I tossed my book to the side.

"We will just get out of your hair," he tugged on the leash.

"Toby," I blurted out his name- Missing the sound of his name on my mouth.

He turned around waiting for me to say something.

"Can I walk with you?" I asked.

He looked conflicted, "Sure."

"I mean…" I looked down embarrassed. "Unless that's too weird I cou-"

"No," he shook his head. He gestured for me to walk with them.

I stood up throwing my book in my bag, and walked on the other side of his dog. "So Emily said you're a cop still," I mentioned.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Do you like it?" I wondered.

"Yeah, it's alright," he shrugged. "This town doesn't have anything interesting anymore after A. Mostly noise complaints and speeding tickets are what I deal with."

"That's a good thing I guess," I looked at him. "At least we don't have to worry about A anymore."

"Yeah," he agreed. "So what are you doing back here?"

"I got a job at Rosewood High School," I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Really?" he couldn't help but chuckle. "Doing what?"

"I'm the new French teacher," I kicked the sand under my feet.

"Oh," he looked at me. "Well you are good at that."

"Thanks," I smiled at him.

He suddenly stopped walking. "You know," he looked behind him. "I should head home," he pointed in the opposite direction.

"Oh," I suddenly felt like I did something wrong ,"Ok."

He turned around, a sudden shift in his mood.

"Toby," I expected him to turn back around and at least wave or smile.

But nothing. He just kept walking. I watched as he disappeared into the tree's and I couldn't see him anymore.

**Line Break**

I couldn't tell you why we broke up. Mostly I was just too stubborn to apologize, and so was he. I remember being so heartbroken that he didn't call me when I was in my first semester of college. I remember noticing him delete me on all social media.

The couple times I talked to Emily, she would mention how depressed and angry he was. So when I came home for Christmas break I saw him through a window at a restaurant. He was sitting with a pretty blonde, and they were holding hands, and smiling at each other. I knew it was over. That's when I decided I was never coming back. I didn't want to see him flaunting off his hot new girlfriend all over town.

After four years I thought the pain would go away. I thought the yearning for him would die down. But it hasn't. If anything it's gotten stronger.

So I made the decision to come back. Not because I expect us to go riding off into the sunset together. But because I need to see him. I realized that even if he's moved on and happy with another girl, that's easier to see than to not see him at all. That's how _sick_ I've become. I need to see him to feel alive again. No matter how much it hurts, at least I feel something again. Because without him I feel like nothing.

4 years 3 months and 10 days, since we broke up. It's pathetic that I still keep track. But I can't help it.

**A/N: Kind of a boring chapter... Sorry! The next one will be better!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews!**

_Your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine_

_-Civil Wars_

Toby's POV

I was on my last hour of work, driving around in my squad car. I got a call over the radio about a altercation at the bar downtown. I told them I would go check it out. As I pulled up to the parking lot there was a crowd of people surrounding a girl huddled on the floor. She had her head buried in her knees as she rocked back and forth with her arms over her head. "Step aside," I told the crowd of people.

I knelt down by the girl, "Ms. What's wrong?"

"It's A," She cried. "It's A," she repeated over and over.

"Spencer?" I put my hand over one of her hands.

She looked up, tears covering her face. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her breath smelt like booze. "Hold on," I stood up looking around for someone to explain.

A nervous guy walked up to me slowly. "I'm sorry officer," he apologized. "I just went up to talk to her. She was a pretty girl and I just wanted to talk to her. And when I laid a hand on her back she freaked out on me. She kept calling me A and I didn't know what to do. My intention wasn't to hurt her or anything."

"It's ok," I assured him. "She's had a rough past." I didn't feel like explaining that I was her ex boyfriend and that I've been dealing with her and this A stalker forever. So I just assured him everything was fine and that he was free to go.

I knelt down beside Spencer again, "Come on, lets get you home."

"No," she shook her head. "I don't want to go home."

"Spencer," I said firmly. "You have to go home."

"No!" She sobbed. " I'm scared. He's going to get me!"

"Spencer, A is gone," I assured her. "Remember?"

"No he's never gone!" She yelled.

I knew she was too drunk to understand anything right now. So I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to the squad car. Her dead weight collapsed on my chest.

I put her in the back and drove back to the station, I put her in my truck and waited for her to give me directions to her place.

"No," she shook her head in fear. "No I can't go back there. I can't be alone."

"Would you like me to call Emily and see if she will stay with you?" I asked her.

"Please," she begged me.

I called Emily, and sighed when it went to voicemail, "She didn't answer," I mumbled.

Spencer started sobbing again, "He's going to kill me."

"No he's not," I kept trying to assure her, but there was no use. She was too drunk. "Damnit Spencer!" I hit my steering wheel.

_Line Break_

I opened the door to my loft, balancing a very intoxicated Spencer in my arms. I carried her to my bed, setting her on the edge. As soon as she looked at me she vomited on me and herself.

"Jesus Chri-" I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"I'm s-sorry," her eyes filled with tears again.

"It's fine," I hated seeing her cry. "Let's get you new clothes." I dug in my dresser finding a t-shirt and basketball shorts. When I turned around I noticed all the vomit in her hair.

I sighed setting the clothes on my dresser. "Can you handle taking a shower?"

She nodded slowly, looking like a sad puppy.

I went into the bathroom, starting the shower for her, when I came back she was still sitting on the bed looking as sad as ever. I helped her up walking her to the bathroom. "Here's clean clothes when you are done."

She grabbed them from me and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

I walked into the kitchen cleaning off my arms in the sink. I peeled off my shirt, and through it in the dirty laundry and threw my dirty comforter in there too. I went to go knock on the bathroom door to make sure she was still fine.

"Spencer?" I called for her when she didn't respond to my knocks.

Still nothing.

"Spencer!" I yelled louder.

It took me two seconds before I opened the door and found her on the shower floor. "Spencer!" I opened the shower door kneeling down beside her. I laid her head in my lap. "Spencer wake up!" I shook her head. I checked to make sure she was still breathing. Once I noticed she was still breathing, I picked her up carrying her back to my bed, laying her on the clean sheets. "Spencer," I said her name again. "Wake up, wake up please."

Thankfully her eyes fluttered open, and I breathed out a sigh in relief. "You need to stay awake for me ok?" I told her.

She just nodded.

It was then that I realized my half naked body was laying practically on top of her very naked body. I quickly moved off of her grabbing her fresh clothes and handed them to her. "I'm going to go change in the next room, will you be ok?"

She nodded again pulling the sheets over her body.

As soon as I walked out, I turned around not trusting that she would be ok. I grabbed the t-shirt from her hands and put her head through, followed by her arms. Then I took the shorts and helped her slide them up her legs. I picked her up again without asking permission. I carried her to my couch and turned on the TV. "I'll be back in two seconds."

I quickly changed into my shorts and came back. I sat down next to her and put my arm around her. _Instinct_. I was about to take it back but then she leaned her head against my chest. _Screw it_- She won't even remember this in the morning. "I need you to stay awake for a little bit ok?"

"Ok," she mumbled into my bare chest.

She felt way too familiar. It was so automatic with us. You would think four years would create this distance between us, but it was like those years didn't exist. I wanted more than anything to kiss the top of her head, but I didn't. I couldn't get hooked back into her. She was poisonous. If I fall for her again it just might kill me this time.

_4 years, 3 months, 14 days, my subconscious reminded me._


	4. Chapter 4

_You think your dreams are the same as mine_

_-Civil Wars_

Spencer's POV

My head pounded as I slowly sat up. I was in a very familiar bed, and in very familiar clothes. I pulled the sheets up to my face, inhaling the familiar scent. Glimpses of last night flashed in my brain as I tried to remember how I ended up here.

My face suddenly felt hot as I remembered every embarrassing detail about last night. I looked around his bedroom to see if he was in here. I breathed a sigh of relief when he was no where to be seen.

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, searching for my clothes from last night.

"They're in the drier," I heard him sneak up behind me.

"God!" I jumped back, turning to face him. "You scared the shit out of me," I clutched at my pounding chest.

"Sorry," he half smiled. "Coffee?" he handed me a cup.

I reached out hesitantly, "Thanks."

"Feeling hung over?" He asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Sort of," I admitted. "I'm so embarrassed about last night. I didn't mean to cause a scene. And you certainly didn't need to take care of me, I would have been fine."

"I know," he bit his cheek. "It's just hard seeing you scared like that."

I shook my head embarrassed, "I don't know why I thought- I mean A is gone. I think just being back in this town, just triggered something."

"It's understandable," he shrugged.

"I feel so stupid," I sat down on the bed. "I'll get out of here as soon as my clothes are dry."

"It's not a big deal," he assured me.

"Thanks for being so kind," I smiled. "But we all know I made a fool of myself last night."

"I've seen you vulnerable many times," he reminded me. "It was not unusual for me."

"I guess," I rubbed my temples. I stood up and walked to his laundry room. They still had ten more minutes until they were dry.

"If you really want to leave, you can take my clothes with you," he offered.

I thought about the amounts of clothes of his that I still had in my closet. "Oh, no it's fine."

We made small talk until the drier buzzed, letting us know it was done. Toby left me to change.

I had a hard time taking off his clothes that smelled like him, and putting on my clothes. His clothes were much comfier. I loved the way his shirts reached just past my butt, and hung off my shoulders.

I walked back out into the hallway, handing him his clothes back, "Thanks again."

"No problem," He held up his keys. "Ready?"

**Line Break**

He drove me back to my car at the bar. We drove mostly in silence, occasionally talking about something meaningless.

I opened the door of the truck, about to get out. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome," he looked down and away.

"I'll see you around," I said stepping out of the truck.

"Yeah," he waved.

As I watched him drive away, I couldn't help but think about all the times we had in that truck.

_"Don't you Dare," I glared at him._

_He looked at me, anticipation in his eyes. He scooted closer to me, a smile growing on his lips._

_"Toby! Please!" I started to squeal. _

_He then pounced on me, tickling me until I was gasping for air, "Toby!" I screamed. "Stop!"_

_"Make me," he smiled, raising an eyebrow._

_I grabbed his neck pulling his face towards mine, smashing our lips together. He moaned, pulling me onto his lap so I had my legs straddled on both sides. My tongue parted his lips, releasing another moan._

_His hands slid down my waist, landing on my hips. He pushed my pelvis closer to his, making me shiver involuntarily in his arms._

_I slowly rocked against him, messing up his hair with my fingers. I couldn't even think anymore- I was just moving. We hadn't done more than make out, and days like today made me wonder why._

_His hands slid up my dress, to caress my butt. A smile played on his lips when he realized I was wearing only a thong._

_Normally this is where I would stop us, by pushing him away or giving him a simple shake of the head. He would understand what I was saying without speaking. He never complained or even acted annoyed. He would just simply kiss me one last time, and hold me against his chest._

_I pushed his shirt, up and over his head. There were many times I've seen him shirtless- In a swimsuit, when he was working outside- but never like this. Not when we were heavily making out. His hot bare skin under my fingertips made my hormones go into overdrive. Our lips moved faster, growing impatient._

_Toby pulled me down on top of him, so we were both laying down. Our lips still moved in synchronization, and our hands roamed each other like they had a mind of their own. He flipped me onto my side, his one arm supporting my head, the other moving under the front of my dress. He slid his fingers along the outside of my underwear. _

_I threw my head back, "Toby," I moaned._

_He pressed a kiss to my throat, before pulling my underwear down my legs. His fingers glided against me, this time without the underwear as barrier._

_"Toby," I moaned louder._

_He carefully, slid his fingers in and out of me._

_"Wait," my eyes flashed open._

_He immediately withdrew his hand and looked at me._

_Without me needing to say anything he pulled my underwear back up and pulled me back to a sitting position. "I'm sorry," he apologized._

_"No," I shook my head. "Don't be sorry."_

_"I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you though," he looked at me guiltily._

_"Are you kidding me?" I nearly laughed at him. "I don't feel that way at all."_

_"But-"_

_"Toby," I looked at him. "You have been the most patient person in the world. You are in no way pressuring me."_

_"I took it too far, I'm sorry," he apologized again._

_"Too far?" I scoffed. _

_"Yeah, I mean you obviously aren't ready," he sounded upset with himself._

_"Toby," I sighed. "I just get nervous. I'm not ready for that yet, but maybe I am for other stuff," I blushed._

_He leaned his forehead against mine, "I'm sorry, Did I hurt you?"_

_"No!" I gasped. "Not at all." I lightly raked the front of his bare chest, "It felt amazing. I kept imagining-," I blushed. "You know- like what the real thing will feel like when I decide that I'm ready."_

_He looked at me seriously, "Do you promise that you're fine?"_

_"I feel amazing," I smiled at him. "I would feel a lot better if you would believe me."_

_He settled for a chaste kiss to my lips, "I love you."_

_"I love you more, Tobias Cavanaugh."_

**A/N: Sorry its so short... The next chapter will hopefully make up for that!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**I'll be honest, I feel like I'm getting the same reviews all the time (good job, i like this, etc) I'm losing motivation for this story. I don't mean to sound ungrateful or needy, but I'm not going to continue this story if nobody is reading it. **

_"Oh I don't love you, but I always will._

_Oh I don't love you, but I always will._

_Oh I don't love you, but I always will… I always will."_

_-Civil Wars_

Toby's POV

I hadn't seen her in two weeks. I tried to tell myself that I didn't want to see her,-yet I found myself looking for her. I was hanging around the Brew, going to random bars. Going to library's, malls, places I don't go on a regular basis. I wasn't sure what I would even do if I saw her. Talk to her? Smile at her? Ignore her? I just wanted to see her. I had to face the fact that she sucked me back in. As much as I was still mad at her, I couldn't deny the soft part of me that just wanted to take care of her and protect her.

I threw on my jacket as I left the loft, about to get a coffee at the Brew.

"Toby," Spencer smiled holding her coffee in her hands.

"H-hi," I waved, not expecting to see her.

"I was just getting my coffee," she shook her head embarrassed.

"Me too," I bit the inside of my cheek.

She looked at me for a second, "Well, I'll see you later then."

"Wait," the words came out before I could think.

She turned around, surprised I said anything.

"Do you-" I scratched the back of my head. "Do you have plans?"

She thought about it for a second, "No I don't."

"Would you want to do something?" I wasn't sure why I was even asking her this.

"What do you have in mind?" She half smiled.

"Come on," I nodded towards the door. "I want to show you something."

**Line Break**

I pulled my truck up the long dirt path. I wasn't sure what made me want to bring her here, but it was like my brain was completely turned off when I was around her, and I just went into autopilot.

"Where are we?" She looked out the window curiously.

"Come on," I opened up the door to get out.

She walked up beside me, giving me a questioning look.

"So I bought this property a few months back," I said walking up to the house. "I'm planning to rebuild the entire thing and then sell it."

She smiled, closing her eyes, like she was remembering something. "Carpentry," she smiled. "It's nice to see that you are doing what you love still." She looked at the house. "It's going to be quite a project."

"Yeah, it was pretty cheap. I'm planning to demolish it entirely and build it from the ground up," I smiled at her.

"By yourself?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Mostly," I nodded. "I might hire some people for the little things."

"Can we go inside?" She wondered.

"Sure," I nodded. "We have to be careful though. It's literally falling apart." I grabbed onto her hand, an instant shock of energy flowed through me. I pulled her inside, keeping her close behind me.

"You should let me decorate it," she looked around. "When you are finished, you should let me do the painting and all the furnishing. That way you can rent it out and get a lot more money. I love designing."

"I remember," I looked back at her. "That's why I brought you here. I thought you could help me out a little bit."

"I'd love that," Her smile widened. "I've been so busy with school and now work that I haven't had time to do things like this. I miss it."

"Good," I pulled her to the back door. "This is the best part." I opened the back door. There was a trail that lead to a lake. The dock, and the shore was the selling point for this house.

Before I could say anything Spencer pulled me down the trail, curiosity getting the best of her. She tip toed onto the dock, sitting on the edge, so she could dangle her feet at the end. "It's so pretty," she murmured.

"Yeah I know," I sat down beside her.

"I dare you to jump in," She looked over at me, with that adorable daring smile playing on her lips.

"Are you crazy? It's freezing cold," I shook my head.

"Fine," she sighed. She dipped her toe in the water. "It's not that bad, you're just a baby."

"You jump in then," I gestured to the water.

"You first," she flirted.

'No way," I shook my head.

"Ok then," she stood up walking away, back to the trail.

I stood up to follow her.

"Sucker!" She turned around running towards me, to push me in.

I grabbed her arms just before I went over, taking her with me.

The water was shockingly cold. My skin instantly felt numb, almost on fire-it was so cold. Spencer let out a scream as she came up to breathe. She quickly ran for shore wanting to get out. She ran into the house, her teeth chattering on the way. "There's no heat in the house," she squealed, covering her chest with her arms.

"You pushed me!" I reminded her.

"Is there any clothes here?" She looked at me like a helpless child.

"No," I laughed at her. "Lets get in my truck."

We both ran out to my truck, our bodies convulsing.

"Take off your dress," I told her as I peeled off my shirt.

"Excuse me?" She raised an eyebrow.

"We need to get rid of our wet clothes so we can warm up," I took off my jeans so I was just in boxers.

"But I'm only wearing-"

"Spencer," I looked at her. "A bra and underwear is practically a bikini. I've seen thousands of women in that before." _Not to mention I've seen you naked a thousand times_, I thought. I grabbed a blanket out from under the seat. The one I kept in my truck from all the times Spencer claimed she was freezing.

"But," she looked down embarrassed. "I'm not wearing normal underwear."

I threw her the blanket. "I'll turn around while you take it off, then wrap yourself up."

She quickly obeyed, as I shivered outside in my wet boxers.

She quickly got rid of her wet dress and wrapped herself up in the blanket. "Done," she yelled.

I hoped in the truck, turning it on, and blasting the heat. I rubbed my hands together, and blew my hot breath onto them.

"Here," Spencer tossed half the blanket she wrapped up in at me. "I can share."

We remained not touching, no matter how much I wanted to cuddle up next to her.

"It's better if we put our heads under the blanket. That way we trap all the heat inside," she pulled the blanket over our heads.

After I looked at her for a few seconds, we both smiled and couldn't help but burst into a fit of laughter. "We are so stupid," I chuckled.

"Me?" She gasped. "You are the one who insisted we strip down to our underwear."

"It's better than sitting in wet clothes that will never get dry!" I defended myself. "Besides, you are the one who pushed us in!"

"Actually I tried pushing you in," she corrected. "I was planning on staying completely dry."

"You are something," I poked her sides. Tickling her, knowing she hated every second of it.

She flailed her limbs around, laughing until she couldn't breathe. The blanket dropped down as her body jerked. She tried pushing my hands away, but she wasn't strong enough. "Toby!" She barely could say the words. "Toby!" She screamed. She swung her legs around me, so they straddled my lap. She pinned my arms, back against the glass of the truck. Her face just inches from mine. We both stood still breathing heavily in unison. We were both thinking it, but not daring to make a move.

She finally relaxed, slowly unwinding our interlocked hands. She dropped them at her sides, looking down.

That's when I really looked at her. Her hair was just a shade darker than I remember, maybe it was because it was damp still. Her eyes were more intoxicating than I remember. Her lips, more plump and inviting, than the last time I saw her. Her breasts were a cup size bigger. Her hips more curvy than high school. She looked like a woman. A beautiful, sexy woman.

She began to get off of me, embarrassed.

I grabbed her arms, pushing her down back on to my lap. I tilted her chin, so she was looking at me, "Fuck it," I told her.

I leaned in, pressing my lips to hers. It was familiar, but different. It had been so long since I tasted her- it was like an alcoholic, drinking for the first time in twenty years. It was relief, and desperation all at the same time. I scooped my hands into her curls, holding on to her with my other arm, like she might float away if I let go. She kissed back with the same amount of love and desperation.

That gut feeling came back, where I remembered how depressed I was when she was gone. "Spencer," I warned her, between kisses.

She pulled back, looking at me confused.

"There's just- There's a lot that's happened between us," I reminded her. "A kiss isn't going to fix that."

Her hand went to her mouth, touching her lips, she nodded in understanding. She immediately retracted herself from me, covering herself up with the blanket, looking out the passenger window.

"Spencer," I didn't want her to feel bad.

She looked at me trying to make a genuine smile, but I could see through it. "It's fine, I got carried away."

"We both did," I didn't want her to take all the blame.

She just continued to look out the window. I knew she was trying to fight the tears, just like I was. So I put my truck in reverse as we drove in silence.

**A/N: Blah. No inspiration, sorry.**


	6. Chapter 6

_"I wish you'd hold me, when I turn my back."_

_-Civil Wars_

Spencer's POV

I sat in Emily's kitchen listening to her talk about Paige. She wasn't much of a talker unless she was stressed. I remembered that about her… If she felt pressured or uneasy about something she would pace, and talk non-stop.

"I don't know what I should do for her birthday?" She walked in circles around her center island. "She went above and beyond for my birthday this year."

"Surprise her with tickets for her favorite band?" I suggested.

"I did that two years ago," she shook her head. "It has to be better than that."

I rubbed my temples trying to come up with something. "Maybe she just wants a nice, relaxing evening together. I always preferred that over something big and outrageous. It's nice just to spend the day together."

"No," she rolled her eyes, like that was the dumbest thing she ever heard. She looked at the clock on the wall. "Toby is coming over soon, he'll know what to do. He was always such a romantic."

I looked down at my hands feeling uncomfortable. "I have to get home," I grabbed my purse.

"Are you sure?" She looked at me concerned. "I'm sorry if its because of Toby-"

"No it's not," I lied. "My students had an exam last week and I haven't graded them yet."

"Oh," she knew I was lying. "Well Hanna and Aria are coming over next Friday, you should come too."

"Ok," I smiled.

As soon as I was about to leave, Emily's door opened.

"Hey Toby," Emily smiled.

"Hey," he smiled back. He looked at me quickly, "Hey Spencer."

"Hi," I swung my purse over my shoulder. "I'll call you later, Em."

"Sure," she waved.

I brushed past Toby avoiding eye contact. It seemed like he was trying to say something, but he wasn't able to get the words out. "Bye," he finally choked out, right before I closed the door behind me.

**Line Break**

"Alright, I want you to turn in your assignment before you leave. Tonight I want you to read chapter four to prep you for tomorrow's lesson," I told the class just as the bell rang.

The students all flung their papers on my desk before rushing to the door. I noticed James (a struggling student of mine) shoving his books in his bag. "James," I walked up to his desk. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure," he slung his bag over his one shoulder.

"I've noticed you've been struggling a little bit on your homework. Is everything ok?" I was genuinely concerned.

"Yeah," he looked embarrassed. "I'm just busy, that's all."

"I'm going to see if Katie can help you a little bit," I told him. "Would you be ok with some tutoring?"

He shrugged, "I guess so."

"Just until you're caught up," I smiled. "You're a bright kid, I just think you need a little push."

"Ok," he nodded. "Thanks Miss Hastings."

"I'll talk to Katie tomorrow," I dismissed him.

Katie was my little mini me. She reminded me so much of myself when I was in high school. Always trying to be the best, doing anything to please my teachers. James reminded me of Toby. He was smart and a good kid, it just took someone like Katie to push that out of him.

I watched James leave the classroom, his height and shaggy hair brought back memories. I was surprised to see the real Toby appear in my classroom just seconds later.

He leaned up against my door frame, in his cop uniform, "Hey."

I looked at him confused, "What are you doing here?"

"I come to the health classes every year and talk about drugs to the students," he walked into my classroom shutting the door behind him. "I'm supposed to scare them into not doing them."

"Oh," I sat down at my desk.

"I've been trying to call you," He changed the subject.

"I know," I cleared my throat. "I haven't had time to get back to you."

"It's been ten days Spencer," he called me out.

I looked up at him, "You've been confusing me."

"How?" he wondered.

"One minute your upset with me, the next you're taking me to the middle of nowhere. We kiss and it's great, and then you freeze me out. Now you've been trying to call me," My voice was getting louder and louder. "What am I supposed to think?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "It's confusing for me too."

"I know that a lot has happened between us. I realize that everything isn't going to go back to the way it was. But at some point we have to let go of what happened, Whether we are together or not," I stood up from my desk.

"I know," he agreed. "I just have so much anger built up."

"So do I!" I turned to face him. "You do realize that you broke up with me right?"

"No I didn't!" He stood up. "You broke up with me!"

"That's not at all what happened!" I snapped. "You got mad at me for bringing up college, and what it was going to do to our relationship."

"Because you said, 'maybe we should try to take a break!'" He quoted me.

` "I was trying to give you a choice!" I stepped closer to him. "I didn't know what you wanted, because you never talked about it. Anytime I brought up college, and long distance, you shut down! What was I supposed to think? I thought for sure you were going to break up with me right before I left!"

He rolled his eyes, and clenched his jaw. "You didn't know what I wanted? That's bullshit! God Spencer- I loved you! I _fucking_ loved you more than anything!"

"Then why didn't you ever talk to me about college? I was leaving in two days and you still never talked to me about what we were going to do!" I spat at him.

"Because I didn't want to think about it!" He burst. "The thought of being apart from you _killed_ me!"

"Well clearly it didn't," I turned back around to sit down.

"In case you haven't noticed I've been a _fucking_ zombie for the last four years!" He slammed his fist against my desk. "Because you never came back. Not once did you come home to see me!"

"I did come back!" I whipped around. "I just didn't have an interest in seeing you fuck that blonde!"

"What?" He was caught off guard.

"I saw you," the tears welled in my eyes. "I saw you with a girl when I came home for Christmas."

"Because I saw you and that guy kissing!" He defended himself.

"What?" I nearly laughed. "What guy?"

"I drove to see you. You and some guy were walking back to the dorms, and he kissed you," he said with disgust. "We were broken up for 3 months- _3 months_," he looked at me like I was the worst person alive.

"Well if you would've stuck around long enough, you would've seen me push him off of me, and tell him that I was still in love with someone else," I swallowed hard.

"Whatever," he growled. "You ruined me."

"I ruined you!?" The tears spilled over. "Are you kidding me? Do you even know what I went through? I had no one! I didn't have my friends, I didn't have you, I had _no one_!" I walked over to him, and pushed him in the chest. "I hate you! You ruined my life!" I shoved him again, harder this time. "I hate you!" I screamed again. "I _fucking_ hate you!" I shoved him again, this time right into the wall.

He didn't even try fighting me back. He just looked at me, with those sad blue eyes and waited for me to finish.

"Just leave!" I yelled at him.

"Spencer," he tried calming me down.

"Get out!" I hit him again.

He tugged at my wrists, pulling me into his chest. And I lost it. I balled into his chest as his arms were wrapped around me. I cried hysterically, letting every emotion I've built up in the last four years- and let it out right here, right now. "I love you," I mumbled against his chest. "I always will," I sobbed.

"I know," he kissed my forehead. "I always will too," he whispered into my ear. "God, I love you."

**A/N: Meh.**


	7. Chapter 7

_"The less I give, the more I get back."_

_-Civil Wars_

Toby's POV

I went home, my heart was aching. I hated seeing her so upset-especially at me. I wanted so badly to give in and tell her I wanted us to get back together. I couldn't give into her though- she can't have that power over me again. When we were together I worried about her every second of everyday, and I didn't want that stress again.

There's no doubt that she was the best thing that ever happened to me. She could make me laugh harder than anybody I ever met. She was beautiful, intelligent, and kind. I loved hanging out with her, and kissing her- I even liked fighting with her sometimes. She's the only person who's ever made me feel loved.

She was also the only person that ever made me feel depressed. I felt like I could be so angry at her sometimes- and I'm not easily angered. She made me worry, and have anxiety about her. She was impulsive and stubborn- which caused us a lot of fights.

Sometime's the bad outweighs the good. I have to let her go, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Yet here I am- Thinking about her.

I sat down on my bed, grabbing fist full's of hair, and closing my eyes. "Stop," I told myself. "_She's not yours to worry about anymore,_"I said to myself. I fought with my own brain to distract myself. But everything I thought about always found its way back to Spencer.

I stood up frustrated, walking into my kitchen. I opened up my fridge grabbing a beer. I looked at it debating. I put the beer back in the fridge, and reached for something stronger in my cupboard. I drank the whiskey straight from the bottle, feeling the burn run down my throat. "_Stop_," I repeated. "_Get out of my head Spencer. Please._"

**Line Break **

I woke up with a wicked hangover. I must have fallen asleep on my couch. The bottle of whiskey was open, on the floor. The TV was on, and I was still in my uniform. I immediately turned off the TV and looked for some pain reliever.

I looked at my phone, seeing I had a missed call from Emily. I called her putting her on speaker as I changed into fresh clothes.

"Hey," she answered.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Have you talked to Spencer at all?" She asked.

"Not since yesterday," I thought. "Why?"

"She was supposed to come over last night, and she never showed up," Emily sounded nervous. "I tried calling her and her phone is off. Maybe I'm just paranoid. But it's not like Spencer to not call or text or somehow get a hold of me. Do you think maybe she just forgot? Maybe she just wanted to be alone. What if someone like- I don't know… Do you think someone kidnapped her? What-"

"Emily," I stopped her. "I'm sure she's fine. Have you tried going to her apartment?"

"No," she admitted. "Well, I drove by and I didn't see her car, so I figured maybe she was with you."

"She isn't," I muttered. "Have you tried calling her parents."

"Yes, they haven't heard form her since Friday," she started to panic.

"Em, she's fine I'm sure," even though I was starting to feel a little nervous myself. "Go to her apartment again and try getting buzzed in."

"I can't I have a meet I need to be at," she sounded frazzled.

"What about Hanna or Aria?" I asked annoyed.

"Hanna works weekends, and Aria is out of town with Ezra," she sounded annoyed- like she already tried calling them.

"Ok, ok, I'll go," I rolled my eyes. "What's her address?"

**Line Break**

After I tried and tried to buzz Spencer's room, there was nothing. Luckily I caught a young woman coming out, so I caught the door just in time. I took the stairs up to the fourth floor and found her door. I knocked several times, and waited.

I was starting to panic. If she wasn't with her parents or her friends, where was she? I finally turned the knob, surprised that it wasn't locked.

I walked past the kitchen and living room. I wasn't surprised that it was literally perfect, not a book out of place. I slowly opened the door, to what I guessed was her bedroom.

I sighed when I saw her still asleep, her arm was rested over her face, shielding her eyes. I was about to leave when I noticed something unusual. I slowly walked over to her bed, trying to get a better look. I noticed, two big scares right above her hips.

Suddenly she rolled over and her eyes opened slowly and she jumped up out of bed. "What the fuck!" she threw a pillow at me. "Toby! What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry," I put my hands up in defense. "Emily wanted me to come check up on you. She said you were supposed to come over and you weren't answering your phone. I got nervous when you didn't answer when I tried buzzing you. So I just walked in, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

She finally was able to breath, "You scared the shit out of me," she clutched at her chest.

"I know," I sighed. "I'm really sorry."

She still looked scared, like she was on the verge of having a panic attack. "Are you ok?" I reached out.

"Yeah," she stepped back.

"What is that?" I stepped closer, reaching out towards her. I lifted up her shirt to reveal her scares.

"Nothing," she pulled her shirt down.

"Spencer," I warned her.

"It's just nothing," she sat down on her bed, annoyed. "It was stupid really."

"Then why can't you tell me?" I clenched my jaw.

"I fell," she lied.

"Cut the crap," I rolled my eyes. "what happened?"

"Why do you care?" she walked past me, to the kitchen.

"Because I'm a police officer," I followed her. "And if you are harming yourself, you need hel-"

"I'm not," she opened her fridge, grabbing some orange juice.

"Then what happened?" I followed her as she grabbed a glass.

"Just let it go," she sounded frustrated.

I grabbed her waist, spinning her around. She was stunned to see me so aggressive. But she pissed me off when she didn't tell me things. I lifted her onto the counter, yanking her shirt up so I could get a better look.

"Toby!" She scolded me. "What-stop!"

"Stop fighting me, Spencer," I looked up at her very seriously.

I looked back down and examined her wounds. "These are deep," I grazed my fingers over them. They looked to be about six inches long, and deep. "Did you do this?" I looked at her angrily.

"No," she clenched her jaw. "I told you."

"Who did this to you?" I was nearly shaking. "When did this happen?"

She pushed my hands away and jumped off the counter. "Just let it go," she tried laughing it off, but I could hear the pain in her voice.

"Who?" I asked again.

"It doesn't matter," she took a sip of her juice.

"What the fuck! Someone did this to you?" I yelled. "Who?! Tell me now Spencer!"

"No," she looked away.

"Spencer!" I shouted. "Why won't you tell me?"

"Because," she started walking back to her bedroom.

"Because why?" I followed her.

She stopped dead in the hallway. She didn't look at me as she said it, making it so much harder to hear. "Because then I would have to tell you how they did it."

**A/N: Thoughts?**


	8. Chapter 8

_"Oh, your hands can heal,_

_Your hands can bruise."_

_-Civil Wars_

Spencer's POV

I was surprised when Toby left my apartment without a fight. He could be so pushy sometimes. But I knew it was best that I kept my mouth shut. He could be so impulsive sometimes. I always feared that if he ever found out what happened he might do something stupid, and I couldn't let that happen.

My phone buzzed on my shelf. "Hello?"

"What's going on?" Emily asked.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Toby just called me asking about some scar on your hip-or something like that? He sounded really upset. What's going on Spencer?" Emily scolded me.

I sighed, rolling my eyes. "He's just overreacting, I'm fine," I lied.

"Are you sure?" Emily sounded worried.

"Yes, there is nothing to worry about."

"Ok," she sighed. "Well you should probably talk to him because he is literally going insane."

"I will," I rolled my eyes in annoyance.

"I'll talk to you later, I have to get back to work," Emily said quickly.

"See you later," I said before hanging up.

Immediately my phone started buzzing again. "Hello?" I sounded a little too annoyed.

"Spencer? What's going on?" My mom sounded worried.

"What?" I could not believe Toby right now.

"Toby just stopped over and asked me all kinds of questions ab-"

"Don't," I nearly shouted. "Mom you can't tell him anything! Did you say anything?"

"No," My mom assured me. "I wasn't sure if you wanted me to, so I just played dumb. But Sweetie-" she paused. "He's really worried."

"I know," I sat down on my bed. "It would just be better if he remained clueless."

"I agree," my mom sighed. "It was strange."

"What was?" I asked curious.

"It's just been a long time since I've seen him," my mom sounded sad. "He still cares for you."

"I have to go mom," I told her. "I'll call you later."

"Ok, I love you."

"Love you," I hung up. "_Ugh! Toby_," I muttered under my breath.

**Line Break**

I sat at the bar with an old college friend, who I ran into. "What are you doing here?" I asked her-surprised to see anyone from college in Rosewood.

"Oh, I have an aunt who lives near here," she laughed. "I just stopped by for a quick visit."

"Sit," I told her. "How have you been?"

"Good," she smiled. "I got a job."

"That's awesome," I took a sip of my wine. "Anything else new?"

"Not really," she shrugged. "What about you?"

"Just been working," I twirled my finger along my glass.

We made small talk. I told her about all the fun things you could do in Rosewood- not that there's much to do. She talked about her aunt, and how much she enjoyed coming to a small town like this. She said it reminded her of the movies. She liked how everybody new everybody, it made her laugh.

"So do you know that guy over there?" She pointed at the pool tables.

"Yes, he graduated with my sister," I nodded.

"What about that old lady over there," she pointed at the other side of the bar.

"She lives three houses down from my parents," I smiled. "And she works part time at this book store I love."

"And that guy?" she pointed at another guy.

"Yes, he works at my dads law firm," I laughed at how silly this game was. "I could name every single person in this bar and tell you how I know them."

"That's so crazy to me," she shook her head in awe. "Ok," her eyes widened. "So do you know that hot guy that just walked in?"

I looked over at the door, "Yes." I took a long sip of my wine, finishing off the glass.

"What's his name?" she kept staring.

"Toby," I signaled at the bartender for another glass.

"How do you know him?" I watched as she kept checking him out.

"Old friend," I tried playing it off, like it was nothing.

"Really?" She pressed.

I shrugged, "I-um," I took another drink.

"You better slow down there," I heard a familiar voice behind me. "I had to take care of you once already since you've been back."

I turned around in my chair, to face him. "Hi," I blushed, remembering the embarrassing night. "I don't think I've ever seen you with a drink before?" I pointed at the beer in his hand.

He took a drink keeping his eyes on me, "I don't do it often," he shrugged.

"Oh," I looked at my silent friend beside me. "Toby this is a friend from college, Claire. Claire this is Toby-um," I looked at him. "An old friend of mine."

Toby glared at me before extending his hand to shake Claries, "it's nice to meet you."

"You too," she giggled.

Toby patted his friends shoulder, "This is my partner, Jake," he introduced his co-worker to me. "This is Spencer," he looked at Jake. "We dated back in the day," he smiled at me, as he corrected my earlier statement.

"It's nice to meet you, Spencer," Jake shook my hand.

"You too," I smiled back.

The rest of the night, the four of us, talked and drank. The way Toby was looking at me, made me want to keep drinking. I didn't like the feeling of his stare. It was like he was trying to tell me something, but he wasn't saying anything.

I was so focused on the awkward, yet sexual tension between Toby and myself that I didn't notice that Claire and Jake were really hitting it off.

"You want to step outside with me?" Jake asked Claire.

"I'd love to," she giggled.

As I watched them walk away, Toby leaned up against my chair. "Looks like they are really hitting it off huh?" He took another sip of his beer.

"I guess so," I tried to relax, as his face hovered by mine.

"Do you want to play?" He pointed at the pool table.

"I shouldn't," I shook my head. "I should get home."

"Are you just afraid that I'll beat you?" he raised an eyebrow at me. "Like all the times I beat you in scrabble."

I snorted, "We played scrabble like four times."

"And I beat you every single time," He smirked.

"Not true," I pouted.

"I let you win once, because it was your birthday," he rolled his eyes.

"You let me?" I cocked my head. "You just don't want to admit I beat you fair and square."

"Ok Hastings," he set down his empty drink. "Prove to me that you can beat me at a simple game of pool." He extended his hand out as an invitation.

I grabbed his hand, "game on."

As he racked the balls, I chalked up the end of my stick. "We should make this more interesting," I offered.

"How so?" He asked.

"If I win," I walked around the table slowly. "You can never ask me another question about my hip."

"Ok," he nodded. "If I win, you have to tell me what happened."

"No," I shook my head.

"You're that confident you'll lose?" He smirked at me.

"No," I glared at him. "But it's not worth the risk. Pick something else."

He sighed, walking slowly to me. "If I win," he thought. He got so close, I could smell the alcohol on his breath. "You have to kiss me."

I bit my lip, "Deal."

The game was intense, we were pretty much tied the whole time. If he made a shot, I made a shot. If I missed a shot, he missed a shot. We were coming down to the wire, and both of us were getting more intoxicated.

I was leaning over the table, eyeing my next ball. This was it, if I missed he could win on the next shot. I felt his hands, rest on my waist. I took a sharp inhale, surprised by this distraction. I couldn't show him that it was working. He leaned down, so his lips were at me ear. "Don't miss," his stubble on his chin grazed my cheek. He stepped back releasing my hips.

I regained focus and took a deep breath, before hitting the ball with my stick. I sighed in defeat as the ball missed the pocket by a hair. It bounced off the side, going back to the same spot.

Toby smiled before taking his turn. I stood, right above the pocket he was aiming for. I bit my lip, and leaned forward slightly-making sure he was looking at my chest. "Don't miss."

His eyes flickered, taking the bait. I got him so distracted that he missed the pocket by a mile.

"I think you might be a little distracted there officer," I sauntered past him.

"That was not fair," he flushed. "You were distracting me."

"I was just returning the favor," I bent over the table again.

I lined my stick up with the ball again, and took another deep breath. I could feel him behind me again. He didn't touch me this time, but I could feel how close he was. Our magnetic connection was always there, on high alert.

I stood up straight and turned around to face him. We were a lot closer than I expected.

He raised an eyebrow at me, confused.

"I forfeit," I set down my stick. "You win," I bit my lip before pulling his collar, and locking our lips. He was surprised at first, but his hands quickly responded. One hand went to cradle the back of my head, pulling me closer, so neither of us could breath. The other one, wrapped around my waist pulling my hips closer to his. I could feel all the eyes, staring at us as we made out in the middle of the bar.

He pulled away, his eyes hungry for more, "lets get out of here."

I nodded before pulling him back in for more.


	9. Chapter 9

_I don't have a choice,_

_But I'd still choose you._

_-Civil Wars_

Toby's POV

The cab ride back to my place felt like slow motion. I held on to Spencer's hand rubbing my thumb across the backside of her hand. She had her head rested on my shoulder. Her right leg was rested across my lap. I just looked out the window, counting the seconds until we got to my place.

Part of me knew this wasn't right, and I know she knows that too. We're both letting the alcohol control our emotions and physical needs at the moment. I should probably do the right thing and tell the cab driver to make two stops tonight.

But having her in my arms right now was intoxicating. Having her so close to me was like a siren going off-silencing the responsible side of me. Smelling her shampoo, and perfume was clouding my already hazy brain. Hearing her rhythmic breathing, was relaxing.

"Here," the taxi driver broke my trance.

"Oh," I shook my head. I reached in my wallet for some cash. I handed him the money and thanked him. "Spencer," I whispered in her ear.

"Hmm…" she mumbled-eyes closed.

She must have fallen asleep. I sighed, realizing that was probably a good thing. I opened the door, scooping her up into my arms, and shutting the door with my foot. I carried her up the stairs in the back. I somehow managed to fish my keys out of my pocket, still balancing her in my unsteady arms.

Once I got us inside, I set her down on my bed. I covered her up with my comforter, and grabbed some pajamas for myself.

Once I changed in the bathroom, I walked back into my bedroom, to watch Spencer sleep. She looked so peaceful. I had to remind myself that she wasn't mine anymore. I couldn't touch her anymore, I shouldn't even be watching her right now. I walked up to her side of the bed and shuffled the pillows around her. The way her head been resting-she would wake up with a very stiff neck. I went to pull away, to go sleep on the couch.

But her arm reached out and grabbed my forearm. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at me, "Stay," she whispered.

I should've said no. But I couldn't. It was true then and it's still true now- I couldn't resist her. I wanted to give her the world.

I just walked around to the other side of the bed and crawled under the sheets.

She immediately rolled over, laying her head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, sighing as we perfectly molded into each other.

**Line Break**

I woke up to my alarm blaring in my ear. Both Spencer and I woke up instantly, still in the same position we were when we fell asleep. I reached over with my free arm, turning it off, "Ugh," I groaned. "That is not a good sound when you've been drinking all night."

Spencer giggled into my chest, "no it is not," she agreed.

I wasn't sure where to go from here. Do I untangle myself from her, and act like nothing happened last night? Or do I stay like this and wait for her to make that call?

She looked up at me, "You're always taking care of me," she frowned.

I shrugged, "I really didn't do anything, other than carry you inside."

"Still," she sighed. "There will be a day, where I will take care of you, I promise."

I smiled, "I don't need to be taken care of."

"That's not true!" She propped herself up on her elbow. "What about that time you got in that car accident and I wheeled you around in a wheelchair for two months? Or the time you got strep throat and I nursed you back to health. And there was that time you got insanely jealous when that guy hit on me on spring break and you punched him so hard, I had to ice your hand for three days straight."

"Ok," he rolled his eyes at me. "That's fair enough."

She looked down, smiling.

"What?" I asked her. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," she shook her head still smiling.

"Tell me," I begged. "Please."

"It's-" she looked up at me through her long lashes. "I was just remembering how cute you were when you were jealous."

"I still get jealous," I blurted out.

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes, sitting up all the way.

"I'm serious," I sat up with her.

She turned her head to look at me, "You don't seem like it."

"I've been really good at hiding it," I smirk.

"There's nothing to be jealous about," I shook my head. "Nobody wants me an-"

"Are you kidding me?" I was actually kind of pissed at her right now. "If you could see every guy eyeing you up at the bar last night like you were a meal."

"Is that why you kissed me?" She glared at me. "So that every guy thought I was with you?"

"No," I shook my head. "And you kissed me."

She clamped her mouth shut, unsure of what to say. "You were the one who suggested we go back to your place so we could-" she stopped herself.

"Yeah, well you can see that never happened," my face turned red from embarrassment.

"Because I fell asleep," she argued. "Otherwise you would've taken advantage-"

"Is that what you think?" I felt a sharp pain in my gut. "That I was taking _advantage_ of you last night?"

She swallowed, realizing she offended me. "We were drunk, neither of us were thinking clearly."

"Maybe you weren't," I said under my breath. It hurt like hell to know that was all just her drunk brain talking last night. To know that she didn't want me otherwise.

"Toby," She reached out to touch my chest.

I grabbed her hand and pushed it back to rest on her own lap. "You should go."

"Toby I didn't mean-"

"Were already fighting," I raised my voice. "We can't be with each other for than ten minutes without fighting!"

"I-"

"Just go," I told her. "Before I say something I'll regret later."

"My car isn't here," she looked down at her hands.

I got up, "I'll call you a cab to bring you back to your car."

**A/N: Sorry... Not very happy. **


End file.
